I was looking at some of my comments when I found a trackback to one of the funniest posts I’ve read recently, it makes fun of the term productivity Ninja, and I am linked to! This behavior can not be tolerated of course and the Ninja has bee dispatched to deal with this arch criminal, but until he gets there, take a look at the investigative report by The Growing Life.
In light of the current situation as I have said, I have contacted said authority, who is on his way to deal swift, nay, productive pain to the author, who should enjoy the limelight. While he can! Muahhahaha. I just wanted to correct some of the so called “facts” or observations he makes. Here’s the lowdown on the productivity ninja, or at least as much as his second line of command knows.
Bruce Lee is not the ninja
Bruce Lee is obviously not, and could never be a productivity Ninja. Have you ever seen him walking around with a Moleskine? For that matter, no one could ever see the productivity ninja. He is so productive at walking that you can not see him, since he enters his own dimension of productivitiveness, also called Dimension P.
Dave Navarro is not the Ninja
Again, misinterpreted facts. As a guitarist myself I am inclined to talk of him as one of the disciples training in the productivity dojo, he has some pretty cool guitars. Despite this, the P code does not allow sideburns like that to enter the realm of true productivity.
“In all seriousness, however, wouldn’t a real ninja shoot a dart at you with a note in it or write a message on your arm without you noticing it?”
Of course not! A real ninja would shoot emails right into your head, and retrieve the answer directly from the neurons in your gray matter. He has no need for conventional electronic equipment, although he does use Remember the Milk sometimes, this has something to do with being in his own dimension again.
The productivity ninja is a sexy women
I actually don’t know, but let’s hope that this is the case!
The productivity ninja doesn’t have much fun
You couldn’t be farther from the truth! He applies labels, manages his emails and comes up with new ways to use online applications all day! Imagine, no need to play squash, no Nintendo Wii and stupid guitars to tend to. The Ninja uses regular expression searches (or in his words, regex searches), he does mass replacement algorithms, and all sorts of fun stuff, why would you say otherwise?
“He Does Not Hang Out With the Productivity Easter Bunny or the Productivity Tooth Fairy”
Indeed, he does not. This would not be the Ninja way. He has been sighted with the productivity duck billed platypus and the productivity Santa Clause though.
The productivity ninja does not use Internet Explorer
Another misconception, the ninja does use Internet Explorer, or in his words, IE. He uses it a lot to point out flaws in the browser so he can bash it around. The ninja does not in fact “use” any browser in the common sense of the word. He has his own Ninja Browser, which was developed from P-particles and is made purely from productive energy.
The productivity ninja isn’t affected by dings
What? First of all I am inclined to ask a question containing one three lettered words, consisting of double-you, tee and eff. First of all, dings are one of the worst enemies of the man himself. Second of all, the productivity ninja isn’t affected by anything, only he affects everything. He’s a bit like Chuck Norris I guess.
Thanks you to Clay for his awesome post on The Growing Life.
